Denne dagen for tre år siden så gikk jeg rundt med en Sony Z23 mobil. Til den hadde jeg et sett med magnetlinser. Mobilen og linsene ga meg små minner og jeg vet på en prikk hvor jeg tok bildene. Jeg husker i bilder. Jeg sparte også noe jeg ikke selv har laget og nå tre år etterpå vet jeg hvorfor. Alle brikkene i puslespillet er på plass.
Det er et dikt også som jeg sparte den gang fordi den i mitt hode hører til bildet over. Tror forfatteren het David Love, men kan ikke finne noe om det.
Remember all those happy days, those times she called our own
In all those well-loved places where you now grieve alone.
And those small endearing gestures, which you thought you knew so well,
Are fading, as time passes, with her words, her kiss, her smell.
But then there is that moment, that time within the day,
When you feel she is beside you in that old familiar way.
But as you turn to see her smile or receive a tender touch,
There’s only a dark shadow of the one you loved so much.
And tears begin to fall in that hole of deep despair,
And memories overwhelm you – more than your heart can bear.
As you remember her gentle grace and her love so soft but strong,
Your heart will simply miss a beat as you miss her life, her song.
You want to rewind the clock and say how much you care;
You want to silence the talk that she’s not there to share.
But you smile and chat amiably to family and friends
And hope they do not notice your world is at an end.
But she knows that you will carry on because she told you true
That if she had to choose again, she would still choose you.
Slik er det med minner i form av bilder, det kommer en følelse sammen med dem. Hos meg er minnet om den uroen jeg hadde følt det siste året. Noe var feil med Gullhjerte mitt. Jeg burde sett det komme, men kanskje ville jeg ikke se.